We need to talk about Chappell Roan on SNL
Last night was a collective experience I won't forget!
Last night I went to a final Halloween party. In the past I have been critical of Halloween parties that are thrown after the actual holiday has passed but now that I’m a 30 year old teenager, I understand not being into the weekday costume get-togethers.
Originally, my plan for this specific Saturday night had been like the others — do absolutely nothing until Saturday Night Live comes on. Over the last few years, I’ve prioritized watching SNL live for a few reasons:
Live television, and specifically live comedy television, used to be the norm. It was messy and real and unrefined in the best way. There’s something about the collective experience of being like “OH! I was watching that live!” Nowadays so much is prerecorded, meaning that there is a level of censorship that goes into a majority of today’s comedy which makes for less shocking and rather filtered television. Think of what we would have never known about if SNL was PRE-TAPED?? The ripping of the pope’s picture! The Butt Pregnancy sketch I am obsessed with! Adrian Brody in fake dreads!
While I have been critical of Saturday Night Live for many reasons, I have to admit that the dream of being hired to write on the show is still alive and well. C’MON! I’m a comedy writer for GOODNESS SAKES! Of course I still wanna work on SNL!
The background info you should know
I don’t care for John Mulaney. I know he’s popular and it isn’t because of all the drama around his interpersonal relationships. I think the main reason he is a source of irritation for me is because he has the opportunity to do those brilliant musical parodies that usually center the New York City experience. Why don’t I HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY?? White men get everything in this world! It isn’t fair!
My inner Green-Eyed Monster revved up when I saw that Mulaney was yet again set to host SNL. But who cares about that guy when CHAPPELL ROAN IS ANNOUNCED AS THE MUSICAL GUEST?? Immediately I knew that was what the weekend would be planned around. Nothing else matters! Not the fact my house needs to be cleaned! Not the fact I am past deadline on an assignment! Not the fact I accidentally let my car insurance lapse and I should probably fix that! NOTHING!
Chappell Roan’s recent and quick rise to fame has felt hella personal as a queer woman. Shocker! I’m queer and married to a straight man! I CONTAIN MULTITUDES! It took me quite sometime to realize that I wasn’t straight and even longer to get over a majority of the imposter syndrome.
Growing up in a religious household meant being gay was a really bad thing. I didn’t realize my own queerness because the only versions of it I knew about was the stereotypes of the hyper feminine man who was funny and loud and the manly woman who wore cargo pants. The only reason gay people were gay was because they were deceived by Satan himself! So yeah, the nuance of queerness wasn’t something I had any opportunity to explore. If you wanna know more about this part of my lore, I wrote about it once over at my other newsletter.
That’s why Chappell Roan’s openness has been a roller coaster for me. I’ll admit, it’s difficult not to feel a little bitter that the sheltered queer kid that I was didn’t have someone like Chappell Roan to help her feel seen. Sure, there are other pop stars who have proceeded this femininomenon but her entire album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, is LITERALLY about her figuring out her own identity and EMBRACING IT despite the amount of yearning and heartbreak she may experience! Her music is fun, raw, original, and speaks so deeply to me. And trust when I say that seeing her live at the beginning of October in Arkansas was the most religious experience I’ve ever felt.
November 2, 2024
I still stand by the idea that November is too late for a Halloween party. But there I was, dressed up as my husband while he was dressed up as me (because it was the fastest and easiest costume we could come up with), playing beer pong at 10:23 pm, just seven minutes until the new episode of Saturday Night Live.
Thankfully, I have Hulu Live on my phone meaning I was at a Halloween party, playing beer pong, dressed up as a dude, and watching SNL on my phone at a social event like a guy watches his favorite sports team just so I wouldn’t miss Chappell.
I didn’t care about the sketches, though it was kinda cool to see Kamala show up in the cold open with Maya Rudolph (who is one of my SNL faves). I don’t necessarily subscribe to being a Kamala fan put I also don’t really like any politicians and this is a television newsletter so I won’t go on that rant here. Still, it is part of the collective experience to see someone who is running for president show up on this live comedy television show.
The incredible host of the party I was at turned the music off and put SNL on in the background so that when I saw it was time for Chappell’s songs we could pause our game and head to the living room.
It made complete sense that her first song was ‘Pink Pony Club’ (a song I really could write an entire essay about how it feels so deeply personal to me and my mommy issues) and I was in love with the subtle nod to Bride of Frankenstein with her first look. But anyone that followed Chappell before last night knew that a cryptic Instagram post hinted that she would debut a new song with her second performance and IT HAPPENED.
An outfit change for not just Chappell but also her iconic band was visual evidence that the rumors she would release a song that was gay and Shania Twainesque were 110% true. The Giver has yet to be officially put on any music streaming platform but I cannot wait to put this bop on repeat.
Collective Experience, BABY!
I just went to Youtube to find The Giver to put here in this entry BUT IT IS NOT THERE! Thankfully, so many people used their smart phones to record the new Chappell song so it has yet to be scrubbed from the internet. I think my friend and fellow comedian Jenny Matthews explained specifically my thoughts and feelings:
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Final thoughts
Remember when I said above it’s difficult not to be bitter that I didn’t have someone like Chappell Roan? It’s true. I do feel sad that I and so many others have experienced so much pain and trauma because of the fear of queerness. But that doesn’t mean I also am not THRILLED that kids today won’t have to experience the queer confusion to the same level that previous generations did. There is room for all the emotions. Now, I just focus on healing my inner child and making sure that in every aspect of my being and abilities, I am creating a better world for the next generation and the one after that and the one after that and the one after that…
But also: CAN WE STOP HAVING JOHN MULANEY HOST SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE?
Please keep reading only if you are Lorne Michaels!
Okay Lorne, here’s my pitch for me to do the new musical parodies:
I was a musical theatre nerd in high school and am still a pretty decent tap dancer
I am the kind of cute and quirky and troubled in a way that millennial women are super drawn to (I mean, c’mon, I’m basically the American Fleabag)
Thank you for your consideration!!!! Here is a video of me doing a time step at the New York Transit Museum just so you know I’m not lying about the tap dancing.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
I must have got in a teeny window when The Giver was on YouTube (maybe because I'm in the UK?) because that's how I saw it and then watched it again like 6 times!!! I need it to add to my country playlist right now